>I cannot remember if I wrote a 2002 update last year. I’m thinking probably not, since I couldn’t afford stamps!

I started a new and quite interesting job in January 2003 – Head Start teacher in a bilingual program in Longview, Texas. I took over for a teacher who was reassigned to another grade level, and the class had been with a series of substitutes throughout November and December 2002. Non-bilingual substitutes. Wow. It was quite a challenge. Every time I left the room, those children truly believed that I was never coming back. It was very sad for them, but when I kept coming back, they finally figured out that I was the first one who was not going to leave them. They were incredible – while there were problems in their little four- and five-year-old lives that some of us could never even conceive of, they knew that they had a safe place in that classroom with me and my co-teacher Sally for at least eight hours each weekday. I have learned so much working in this job – about how to do things right and about how to switch tracks when it is not working.

In March of this year, I was in a car accident[1] that by all accounts, I should not have survived. After a few days off to sleep through the initial pain (and painkillers!), I went back to school, alternating between crutches and a wheel chair (the kids loved to push me around!) and made it through the semester with a newfound love for children’s literature and a refined perspective on child development.

In June, I went on my first mission trip to Mexico with a group from Cypress Valley Bible Church. It was a much easier twenty-four drive than I expected (!?), and it was almost unbelievable to see the delight in the eyes of the people of San Felipe, Guanajuato, when they saw us each day. We were able to spend time with hundreds of local adults and their children throughout the week, and I had one of the most meaningful experiences of my life thus far. I will be spending the second week of my Christmas vacation in San Felipe with the church team. I told someone recently that I truly believed that God made me bilingual for a reason and that I would be doing a disservice if I was not using that gift in as many aspects of my personal and professional life as possible.

Also in June, I spent nine days on Cozumel with my sister Karyn and other friends to celebrate her 30th birthday (I’m the oldest, so I can publish that fact). We had a great time and got to hang out in a great house[2] and enjoy each other’s company for over a week.

I’m not sure what happened to the rest of the summer – I visited friends and family in Nashville, Dallas and Houston, and then it was time for school to start up again. I taught my niece Chelsey how to make potholders on one of those groovy plastic weaving looms like Ronco used to sell on TV.

Some of the most important cultural figures of the most recent centuries passed away. Waylon Jennings. Johnny Cash. Mr. Rogers. All having made a significant impact in their own way. On me, anyway. We got involved in a very unique war. Voyeurism flourished in the media. I pared down my weekly television viewing to under four hours (why do I even HAVE cable?). There were some very significant events in my immediate family – illness, pregnancies, separations, anniversaries, births – whose effects are far-reaching and long-lasting.

I read some great books[3] and discovered some great new music[4] and am working to find some new friends close by who are interested in sharing such things. I gave up caffeinated coffee and became borderline obsessed with varieties of hot tea.[5] In the spring, I got together with a local musician (Grady Lee) and a local business owner (Shawne Somerford), and we started a live music series in a refurbished 100+-year-old building in downtown Marshall called The Weisman Center. We were able to bring some amazing entertainers there as well as build a following that was significant enough to merit continuing the series (Words & Voices) in 2004. It’s terribly fun to be involved in music again – primarily for fun and the art of it rather than as a means of making a living. (Shows are the 2nd Saturday of each month, if you are looking for something fun to do and/or a reason to come home!). I’ve moved far away from any kind of venue that features independent films, and I refuse to pay the cable bill that would get me the coolest TV channels, but I did discover that if you are a fan of foreign films or documentary and can wait a few months for something to be released on DVD, you can get just about anything via http://www.netflix.com[6]

I’ve no idea what 2004 holds for me, except that it will be the first full year in which I am closer to forty than I am to thirty[7], and I hope to do some really amazing things during my spring and summer vacations. I’m thinking a little time in Western Europe and a little in Eastern Europe. I never did go visit my Croatian friends that I met in Barcelona that one time. I have a very good friend who is going to be living in Mombasa, Kenya, after the first of the year, so maybe that’s my spring break.

Mostly out of boredom and partly out of not having any particular inspiration to write, I started painting some things. Usually just meaningful quotes that I personally found interesting, painted on canvas. I sold five of them to a new restaurant here in Marshall, and actually got some feedback on one of them recently when a gentleman that goes to my church asked me what “Voici mon secret. Il est très simple : on ne voit bien qu’avec le coeur. L’essentiel est invisible pour les yeux” meant. Sort of as a clever mind-bender, the restaurant owner decided to put the only one painted in French in the men’s restroom. To see what kind of conversation and bewilderment it would provoke.[8]

I should go now and finish cleaning house[9] so that I can go to one of what looks like will be several “pretend Christmas” events since our family is huge and somewhat scattered. We’ll call it a Christmas festival spread over several days.

Here are the lyrics to a song I heard on the radio a few months ago that I thought was just absolutely amazing. Maybe they talk to you, too. Have a great holiday and a fabulous 2004. Remember, I have a spare bedroom and an open door. And I cook, too!

It’s been a hard year • But I’m climbing out of the rubble • These lessons are hard • Healing changes are subtle • But every day it’s… • Less like tearing more like building • Less like captive more like willing • Less like breakdown more like surrender • Less like haunting more like remember • And I feel you here • And you’re picking up the pieces • Forever faithful • It seemed out of my hands a bad situation • But you are able • And in your hands the pain and hurt • look less like scars and more like character • Less like a prison more like my room • Less like a casket more like a womb • Less like dying more like transcending • Less like fear, less like an ending • And I feel you here • And you’re picking up the pieces • Forever faithful • It seemed out of my hands a bad situation • But you are able • And in your hands the pain and hurt • look less like scars • Just a little while ago • I couldn’t feel the power or the hope • I couldn’t cope, I couldn’t feel a thing • Just a little while back • I was desperate, broken, laid out • Hoping you would come • And I need you • And I want you here • And I feel you… • And I feel you here • And you’re picking up the pieces • Forever faithful • It seemed out of my hands a bad situation • But you are able • And in your hands the pain and hurt • look less like scars • And in your hands the pain and hurt • look less like scars • And in your hands the pain and hurt • look less like scars • And more like character • (sara groves)

[1] My mom took pictures of the squished metal formerly known as my car, and my dad graciously photographed my banged up face, and I truly know that I’m supposed to still be here for someone or something.
[2] http://www.casalaroja.com
[3] The Purpose Driven Life, The Secret Life Of Bees, Empire Falls, High Maintenance, Beautiful Bodies, The Lovely Bones, Lucky, How To Be Good, The Whore’s Child, White Oleander, Cherry, Honky
[4] Jason Mraz, Train, Sting, Sarah McLachlan, Sara Groves, Hayes Carll
[5] Current favorites are Stashtm Chai Spice Black Tea, English Breakfast Tea and Bijatm something-or-other.
[6] Some great films that I have seen this way are He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not (French), Amélie (French), With A Friend Like Harry (French), Talk To Her (Spanish), The Crime Of Father Amaro (Spanish), The First Year (PBS Documentary) and Rififi (French, 1955). Thank goodness for subtitles!
[7] Which is perfectly fine, as I understand my life and the people around me a little more each day
[8] The answer is: “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; What is essential is invisible to the eye”, and it comes from the children’s book, The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupery.
[9] Let’s just say that if I had children, and Child Protective Services made a home visit, they’d probably put my kids in foster homes! I don’t know how one person can make so many dirty dishes.