>January 30, 2004

I just surveyed the contents of my refrigerator/freezer, and I came up with this: in the bottom half — one bag of flax seeds, four pieces of wheat berry sliced bread. Six single-serving packages of orange juice (yes, from concentrate), a half-bottle of chardonnay, three broccoli trees…

In the top: three chicken carcasses (that way if you forget to take out the trash, your apartment smells less like a landfill), two individually zip-locked chicken breasts, one bacon-wrapped filet mignon, two pork chops, six brown bananas (who want to be muffins when they grow up), long-forgotten vanilla shake from the Sonic drive-in…