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I am certain that Emily Post would turn over in her grave
if she actually saw me sliding out of my chair this way
at a bridal shower in my honor. But, then, i’m also fairly
certain that if Emily Post paid really close attention
to me in my daily life, she’d pretty much look like a pig
roasting on a spit in her grave for all the turning she’d
be doing! I was doing my very best considering
my innards were on fire with symptoms from a heretofore-unbeknownst-to-me
antibiotic allergy that I had been fueling for going on three weeks.
At least my shirt was pretty!