On this, the two year anniversary of my precious child’s birth, I came across this website called Nurture Mom.  At first glance, it seems amazing.

The process of being pregnant, birthing, breastfeeding, and raising a child thus far have really impacted me, mostly resulting in the positive because my son is becoming an amazing person.  But I would be lying if I didn’t tell you that once he was born, I felt like I was transported to another dimension.  One where I had never in my life been so exhausted or felt so close to the edge.  I need sleep.  Breastfeeding mothers whose babies love their milk do not get sleep.  

I am very proud to say that sweet Atticus’ lips have never touched infant formula, and while of course, I cast no judgment on mothers who are not able or interested in taking the exclusive nursing route, I just know that it was a path I was intent on following, and I felt a strong sense of accomplishment when I was not swayed from it.  And people tried.  Oh, how they tried.  Remarkably, my family was 100% supportive of my choice to do that.  Why do I say “remarkably?”  Because I know how well they know me and how much they saw me suffering physically, mentally, and emotionally for all of the sleep I was losing to nursing that little pumpkin-head all through the night.  Losing all that night-sleep would not have been such a big deal if I hadn’t been working full time and going to graduate school two nights a week.  It would still have been depleting, but it would not literally have sucked the life out of me for 15 months.

All of this to say — if you are planning on becoming a mother, already a mother, or know someone whom motherhood is depleting, read into this information, and please find a way to nurture yourself.  It’s best for you, for your child, and for your child’s father.  They get lost in the shuffle sometimes, and you find yourself completely inept at trying to explain how overwhelmed and exhausted and riddled with anxiety and/or guilt and/or longing and/or depression and/or confusion you feel.

They need nurturing, too, and my sense is that most of them are waiting for us to tell them what we need.  Explicitly.  And repeatedly.  And kindly.  And not one of those things will come naturally to you in your post-partum state of internal chaos.  Not one of them.