So, through my friend Mary Kathryn’s beauty for ashes blog, I learned about The Gypsy Mama, and she hosts this thing called “5 Minute Friday,” well, every Friday. She gives a one-word prompt and encourages readers/writers to set a timer and begin typing about that prompt — until the 5 minutes elapse. Today was the first Friday I actually remembered the thing, and I have been sitting at this blasted computer all morning doing some work, so I decided to take a break and write.
Today’s word is “full.” Here’s my submission:Full. Sometimes, I feel like I am just that. Full. Full of food. Full of stress. Full of confidence. Full of doubt. Full of crap.
Today, I feel like I am full of whatever it is that makes your muscles ache — not fatigue, not physical over-exertion. Full of worrying too much about things I cannot control. Whoever invented that Serenity Prayer should win an award for “Getting The Gist.” It really covers it all. It’s so simple, yet so elusive. Why can’t I just pray it, and really allow myself to be open to having it answered?
This is my problem. Not surrendering. Not to an admission of addiction to any substance. But perhaps an addiction to holding on too tightly. Recently, I heard a great definition of the word, “addiction:”
An addiction is a compulsive dependence on people, positions, possessions and usage to do for me what GOD ALONE can do, that has short-term benefits and long-term losses.
That.
Is.
It.
I so relate to that on some levels. It’s a struggle I consider fairly common among us, but an awareness that is not-so-common. What on the earth makes me think that I can handle most or any of what the world brings my way?
Being full of myself.
That’s what.
void if detached 
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