We bring it on ourselves, you know.  I keep seeing all these panic-stricken messages about last-minute holiday shopping and wrapping and shipping and over-spending.  Why do we do it?  Is it unfiltered social learning?  Well-formed habit?  Is it others-centered?  Or is it the ultimate self-centeredness?  Of course, giving a gift out of the kindness of our heart, one that we spent hours, days, months contemplating for someone about whom we care very much is the best way to give.  With a generous heart and expecting nothing in return — no, not even a thank-you note — is the way to give.  Giving to someone unexpectedly is beautiful.  Giving and not harboring expectations that, when not met, will break our hearts or ruin our days — that is how we need to give.  Giving with a whole lot of confidence that the gift will not be returned, with or without our knowledge, because it is so perfect.  Giving is about knowing the receiver inside and out, isn’t it?

As parents, we should be the ones who are responsible for setting the expectations our children have about giving.  And receiving.  I won’t lie.  Sometimes, it is very difficult to receive graciously.  Like when you are fairly certain that the gift you receive is the same one you gave a few years back. Or, maybe, just maybe, someone gives you a fresh pineapple for Christmas.  Trust me.  I’ve seen it happen.  😉

Anyway, as is par for my daily course, I stepped away from writing this entry at about 8:10 this morning, and now, at 5:56 p.m., while waiting for the earthy cabbage/potato/turkey kielbasa brew to be ready for consumption, I am sitting down to finish it.  It was going to be so much better if I had been able to finish it in one long stream of consciousness.  Instead, it was thwarted by a precious, rambunctious 29-month-old boy and all that he brings to my days!  Which is just dandy.  For the second day in a row, I have successfully made it through my day without getting out of my pajamas until well into the evening.  And I have not been in a motor vehicle since approximately 7:15 p.m. on Wednesday, two days ago.

And that makes me smile.

I have yet to purchase my child a single Christmas gift, but the plan is to give him 10 individually wrapped Hot Wheels.  Because they are what makes him shriek with glee.  He will learn the color, make, and model of each one, and we will lose each one at least 14 times a day, but every time we find them, it will be like Christmas all over again.  And that is the beauty of giving.  A childhood version of the gift that keeps on giving.  We’ll be out whatever time it takes us to go to the store and navigate the parking lot and the Christmas Eve lines, the cost of wrapping paraphernalia, and approximately $1.07 per Hot Wheels car.  It’s a simplicity that simply cannot be beat.  We may not have this luxury for too many years, but as long as the economy is not so consumer-friendly, and as long as we owe anybody anything, this approach will just have to work for us.

I won’t lie.  I did consider buying the little fellow a tricycle, and then I thought of the daily battles involved in trying to convince him all through the winter that it really is not  supposed to be driven inside the house.

Maybe my perspective on Christmas craziness would be different if I had a fair amount of disposable income, but I don’t know.  I really don’t love shopping all that much.  Amazon.com is one of God’s greatest gifts, as far as I am concerned.  I subscribe to the diapers we use, the vitamins and toothpaste we use regularly, and they just show up on my doorstep as scheduled, and we get a great additional discount for subscribing.

Pray for me as I decide whether to brave the store later tonight for those shiny little cars or to wait until the morning.  Christmas Eve morning.

I was thinking earlier what I would put on a Christmas list this year:

1. A functioning, safe, paid-for vehicle.
2. A small set of Staedtler fine point markers.
3. Tickets to see Wicked in Austin next year with some family & friends.
4. A subscription to a year’s worth of really great massages and facials.
5. A gift certificate to get my favorite stylist to color my hair.  I’m bored with it.
6. The 4 participants’ guides for the Celebrate Recovery program.
7. A pedicure at Sunny Nails in Sunnyvale, Texas.  I hear they are cheap and fairly enjoyable.
8. A fabulous espresso/cappuccino machine.
9. Black socks.
10. A MAC gift certificate.
11. An effective cure for the intense daily pain I feel in my neck that would not yield horrible side effects or other problems in my body.
12. An Amazon.com gift certificate.
13. A gift certificate for the Aveda Institute in Dallas.
14. To be debt-free.
15. For my parents to write their memoirs.
16. The motivation to write on a daily basis to record my thoughts and my own memoirs.

It’s getting intangible now, so I will stop.

In case I don’t get back here before the big day, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a happy holiday season.  If you have time off, relax.  If you get to spend time with friends and/or family whom you spend the rest of the year missing, make the most of it.  If you are traveling, be safe, and represent your fellow Americans well.

— Me